Is your child in distress? Does your child have a hard time with change and transitions? Was your child stressed or anxious prior to Covid-19? While some children have lower stress with not having to go to school, other changes may be effecting them in negative ways. The sudden reduction of in-person social interactions with friends, coupled with an increase of screen time and other changes may be taking a toll psychologically and emotionally.

Identifying your child’s distress is the first step in being able to help them with it. Decreasing a child’s daily stress and anxiety can also help in lowering their reaction to distress, making their distress more manageable.

INDICATORS OF DISTRESS

Children have different ways of showing distress. The list below can be indicators of distress (and anxiety), especially if more than one is present and there is an increase in duration and frequency.

• They may have explosive behavior or irritability.

• They may be more sensitive or cry excessively.

• They may pick fights.

• They may not want to do things that they otherwise normally would enjoy.

• They may have a hard time focusing even on the simplest of tasks.

• Short term memory may be affected, making it hard to remember conversations or events.

• Tense muscles.

• Fatigue.

• Bed wetting.

• Diarrhea and/or using the restroom more often.

• Insomnia can develop or become more prevalent.

• Fidgeting may be present or increase in duration and frequency.

• They may complain of headaches and/or stomach aches.

When a child is exhibiting or complaining of any of the above symptoms frequently, your child may be telling you that their anxiety and reaction to their distress is at an elevated and constant high level.

HELPING YOUR CHILD DECREASE THEIR DISTRESS

There are many things you can do to proactively to help your child. During this time of change try to have as much normality as possible while creating a new normal. Normality can be simple things like playing catch in the backyard for 10 minutes, or Friday family game nights. Try to have consistent boundaries and some sort of schedule including, but not limited to, regular bathing and bed- time routine. Get them out- side for at least 30 minutes every day, even if it is to read a book while out in the sunshine. Add in one or two regulating activities per day, ideally in same placement in the schedule. For example, make an obstacle course, make a balance beam/slack line in the backyard, do a science experiment, bake or build something, do yoga, meditate with them, listen to music or have reading time. There may be a lot they can not do on their own but if they can do it, let them.

Children need social interaction with you as well as some alone time daily. Do not forget to allow hard feelings and hard days as well. If your child is worried about something, let them talk and try not to rescue them or quick- fix the situation. Have empathy and reflect understanding of their feelings and observations of what is occurring. Making stories with words or pictures can be helpful to process their feelings. Children do not always have the words to express what they are going through. Artwork and free play can also help with this! Your child will let you know what helps them and what does not. When you notice those signs of stress decreasing, his or her anxiety is lowering.

We all have stress, including our kids. As adults, we have more control than our children do. With your help, they can decrease their distress which helps everyone. When you begin to see more indicators of building stress as opposed to intense moments that seem to come out of nowhere, that is a good sign. They are doing it! With your help they can gain more control in their life. You got this! But also remember that you’re not alone. If you ever feel like you need help, many professionals are able to offer remote support.

Published in Boulder County Kids Newsletter Summer 2020