There are many ways to help oneself to be more present and to worry less and relax. I will be teaching two techniques, progressive relaxation and creating your happy mind place. These are tools that can help you throughout your entire life. You can do one or the other or both. They can also be done by yourself or with a helper. My hope is that you find these as useful as some of my clients do. Now let’s go on a calming adventure.

Preface to the Teaching

The techniques below can help you to be more present. Why is this a good thing? If you are constantly living in the past or dreaming about the future, your current life will pass you by. Before you know it, you can be in the future still dreaming about the future. You are missing out on what is happening right now. These techniques can also help you to have less worries. Worrying in general can be hard to stop and is not very fun. This action can lead to sleep disturbances that can lead to more issues. These tools can also encourage relaxation which is good for your overall well-being.

Progressive Relaxation

For children, have a parent read the following before bed. Or for an adult, record yourself saying the following and listen to it. Let’s begin.

Please lie down and close your eyes. Let your body sink into the bed. Relax and let go. Take three deep breaths making your belly go up and down. Breathe in. Breath out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. All thoughts and tension are leaving your body. You are safe. Now, we are going to be going though your body from your toes to the top of your head, relaxing each body part. Let’s get started. Think about your toes. Wiggle your toes. Now let all tension go and relax your toes. Think about your feet and your ankles. Move your feet from side to side. Now let your feet fall whichever way they want to. Think about your calves. Tense your calves. Now let it go. Think about your knees and your thighs. Tense your thighs. Now let it go. Let your legs fall whichever way they want to. Now think about your butt. Tense your butt and now let it go. Let yourself sink into the bed. Think about your arms and hands. Are you holding your arms a certain way? Let your arms and hands be relaxed. If you are holding onto anything, let them rest on top of the item. Think about your shoulders then neck. Are you holding your head straight up? Let your head fall to the side and sink into the bed. Think about your mouth and jaw. Move your jaw around. Are you clenching your teeth and jaw? Let it go. Relax and let go. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Think about your eyes and eyebrows. Are you keeping your eyes shut tightly? Making your eyebrows move downward or inward? Let your eyes simply rest closed. If you need to, open them and gently close them. Now think about the top of your head. Your head and entire body is relaxed and sinking into the bed. Relax…let go. As you scan your body once more, think about an ocean wave rolling in with your breath. Concentrate on the ocean wave moving in, breathe in; wave rolling out, breathe out. You are now calm and relaxed.

Creating Your Happy Mind Place

This is a series of questions to help you create your happy mind place. It can be helpful to have someone ask you the questions and you (or the other person) write down your answers. You can also read the questions yourself and journal them creating your happy mind place. Have fun!

We want to create a happy place so focus on the positive only. There is no bad, unsettling things here.

What do you see for landscape? Mountains, a forest, a tree, the beach, a lake…What is around you?

What time of day is it? Daytime, nighttime? Early morning or sunrise? Dark into the night? What colors are the sun or moon creating?

What other colors do you see?

What is the weather like? What season of the year is it?

Are there clouds? Describe them. Are they big and fluffy or straight across?

What does it feel like? Warm, a crisp chill to the air?

What are you doing? Flying, soaring, laying on something, walking, in something?

What can you feel under your hands or feet or body?

What can you hear? An animal moving around in the bush, waves crashing, laughing in the distance, wind, a chipmunk eating a nut?

What can you smell? Salt water, flowers, trees, food, animals?

What can you taste? Water, salt, fruit from a tree, something sweet?

Is there anything or anyone with you? Any animals, bugs, people? Describe each one and what they are doing.

Is there anything else you would like to add? This is your place. It can be however you would like.

What is the name of your place? This place is only yours. You can go there anytime and anywhere. You can change your place. If negative thoughts start to creep into your brain; focus on one part of your happy place. Also, try focusing on slowing your breath and breathing from your belly for deeper breathing. Some people enjoy listening to nice music while closing their eyes and thinking about their happy place.

Practicing

Now you know how to go on a calming adventure that only requires you. Now it is time to practice! As you practice, you will find it is easy to accomplish a calm mind and body. I enjoy doing the progressive relaxation at bedtime; however, you can do this anytime you feel like you want to relax your body. I recommend that you try and take 45 minutes to go through your entire body. Then over time, you can shorten the length of time to as short as five minutes. You may naturally shorten the length of time and fall asleep faster. If you created an elaborate happy mind place, try to focus on one element within your place. Then, expand as you relax and feel ready. I recommend you practice going to your happy mind place for at least 10 minutes a day for 30 days. Be proactive and it will be easier to go to your happy mind place and stay there.

Keep it Yours

Your happy mind place is yours. Sometimes people get excited and want to share with others about the place they have created. Be mindful of who you share with. Only share with people who will be nonjudgmental. In other words, do not share with anyone that may be negative or pick apart your place. Keep your happy place your happy place! I hope for many moments of a caring mind and body for you.

Published in Boulder County Kids Newsletter Summer 2019