Having a healthy routine and sticking with the schedule can be difficult at times. Summer time, holidays and cold weather are some of those times. The pandemic has also likely affected your routine in some negative ways. Now is the time to adjust and create a healthy routine that works for your child instead of against them. A healthy routine is predictable, has connectivity, involves creative alone time and leaves a child feeling balanced.

Start and End the Day Mindfully

At the end of the day, when possible eat dinner together as a family, converse then wind down for the night. Healthy winding down could involve a bath, family game time, reading and other relaxing activities. Having a bedtime routine as the above can help enhance your relationship with your child and help them to have more sound sleep. If you already have a good bedtime routine, does your child start the day how they end it? Morning time tends to be more hectic. Instead of starting the day with chaos and expecting a grounding focused day, start off the day with talking with your child(ren) over breakfast. Be present without distractions. This can help create connectivity at the beginning of the day. Then take 10-20 minutes to do a mindful activity together, such as meditate, yoga, reading, legos or coloring. You may be thinking “where am I going to find the time?” Taking the time to do these things, could save time longer term due to your child feeling seen, loved and relaxed. This can increase focus and help to set up the day for success.

Limit Screen Time

During challenging times, it can be tempting to increase screen time and have less interaction. Certain games and excessive screen time can increase anxiety and anger. Your child may have fits when they do not have the amount of screen time that they want especially if this is new. They need your help in limiting this. As with any change, it is a good idea to give them a heads up about the change in screen time at least a day in advance if not a few days and hold your boundary. With school being mostly virtual, it is a good idea to have your child get off the screen when on their breaks with the exception of lunch time. Lunch time may be a social time which likely involves a screen to chat. I recommend having a limit on the amount of screen time that your child has during the week and weekends. Some parents have no screen time Monday-Thursday which is straight forward. Most children require supervision to hold the screen time limit. It is unreasonable for a child that is addicted to screens to self monitor. There are apps that can be used to help track and not allow use after a certain amount of time. 

Alone Time

I recommend daily alone time without screens for about 20 minutes. Genuine alone time does not involve anyone else in the room even if being quiet. Alone time is especially helpful for introverted children so they get recharged. This time is not a punishment and I recommend saying this to your child. It is timed and when the time is up, they are told even if they are content and happy doing what they are doing. It is not a trick and they can choose to stay longer in their alone time. This time is for creating, building, practicing a new skill or language, listening to music, dancing, reading, or jumping on a trampoline type activities. I have found that some children resist the alone time at first and then come to really enjoy it. Their brain knows it gets to relax at this time every day. It can do wonders for sibling relationships. A common time for alone time is after school snack. 

Children want a schedule, boundaries and consistency. They want to be involved in what you are doing and share life with you. Being present and having a mindful routine for your child and yourself can do amazing things for your relationship and their life. With any change there can be an adjustment period. Stick in there! My hope is that you and your family live a life full of connectivity, balance and creativity.

Published in Boulder County Kids Newsletter Winter 2020